Anyone dealing with both anxiety and depression here?
Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Intelesting, intelesting….I didn’t know that. Do you know of any website where I can find more information, Kelly? this site discusses anxiety as a symptom of bipolar, as well as some interesting ideas on bipolar and anxiety treatments: http://www.psycheducation.org/index.html this specific article deals with anxious depression: http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/02_diagnosis.html#Anchor-Anx… here’s an advice column about it (also Dr. Phelps from above): http://www.bipolarworld.net/Phelps/ph_2002/ph718.htm http://www.merck.com/mrkshared/mmanual/section15/chapter189/189a.jsp this link has one relevant paragraph, but it is Merck, and they’re pretty reliable: Mixed anxiety-depression (anxious depression) refers to conditions in which mild symptoms common to anxiety and mood disorders are present. They usually pursue a chronically intermittent course. Because of the greater gravity of depressive disorders and the risk of suicide, patients with mixed anxiety-depression should be treated for depression. Obsessions, panic, and social phobias with hypersomnic depression suggest bipolar II disorder. there’s more out there, i just don’t have the energy to search for it today. 
happy reading! -kelly
Thanks for your prompt reply and for the URLs! (I just *love* URLs) P. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
LOL, I’d never endorse anything that required singing kumbaya. do I really have to explain the difference between bein’ in detox and being in recovery? I didn’t think so. Geez. G
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Mr. Jan: A very good friend of mine in Albany, New York is in alcohol recovery, and has been for about a year and some. she’s been in detox for over a year ??????ya think she might need ta go ta detox for detox? "get out of your head" – essentially saying that doing something that consumes your mental energy does not leave it available for being paranoid, freaking out etc.. I have also applied this concept a bit, and found it works rather well. ok.. what does "gettin outta yer head" have ta do with doing something that consumes your mental energy? i’m thinkin bein IN your head would consume more mental energy, and doesn’t leave it available (or give room) for bein paranoid, etc… cuz if yer IN yer head, yer head’s full.. if yer "outta yer head". you got like an open space for panoia, freakin out, and lesbian mud wrestlin’. i have also applied this concept a bit, and found it works rather well. sooooooooo, "IT" dude.. how you get outta yer head? what’s the process? and does it require anesthesia or singin "kumbaya"? i wanna watch ya do it tho.. i bet it takes lotsa lube. ~tanya
Response:
since I’m already breaking the rules giving you advice – LOL With all due respect, Gary, f— your advice
#1, Jan, (with all due respect.. that’s a gurlllllllllllllllllll’s name) #2. who appointed you dictator of no advice? because you demand no advice, don’t mean shit from shinola here in these here parts…. it means it’s whacha want, not whacha get. (if you think otherwise, you might wanna "hear some experiences" about how attempting to control others is workin’ for them folk tryin. personally, i know you CAN control some by dictataing, as some have no abililty to think for themselves. so if you feel a need to fill in as "the thinker" for these doormat folks, wull, i’ll just sit right here and tattoo ‘welcome’ on they foreheads !.. to others, that don’t really need "the thinker", i believe we’re quite capable of responding as we wish, not as you dictate. get it? (hey.. ain’t that a statue? The Thinker? ain’t he sittin on da terlet?) #3. what else do you want besides advice? to hear people’s experiences? in this forum, Jan, our experience IS a form of advice… as dictated by the stories we tell, and the learning experience it created, the advice is insidiously woven throughout our experiences. . so i might invite you to sans the experiences also, (unless you are unable to discern the subtle advise so delicately embroidered thoughout the experiences we share, which would take a mighty shallow person to ignore those ‘blatant subtleties’, or either a person that does not ‘listen’. btw, ole Jan… why you wanna read our experiences if you have nothing to gain from them? you a pschy/panic voyeur? (now THERE’s a new kink) or what’s yer deal? i could tell ya some of my experiences that may be more appropriate, as there are no lessons to be learned….. i’ll give ya one (cuz i’m that kinda gal) "i kissed a boy taday". there ! there’s yer empty experience. take that bitch’n run with it. #4) as uh englush majer anna expurt on frasin’ and dichotomies…… "with all due respect" and "fuck your advice" is a dichotomy that is above the realm of obvious, when used in conjunction within the same sentence. the "obvious’ abhors me.. and don’t be abhorin me, Jan.. it ain’t in yer best interest. #5) you came in here asking for help, we listened to yer whinin’ and sob stories, some contradictory, some rhetoric, most repetitive and redundancy is a very nasty infliction on any audience. ya hear us complainin’? #6) i’m guessin’.. (cuz i ain’t a bettin’ chick).. that a lot of your problems stem from loneliness, if your attitude you took with Gary is any indication of the level of interaction you employ with people/how you treat people. i mean do you ever get laid? i’m pretty desperate and i wouldn’t fuck a guy with sumbody else’s chicken that exuded the anger that you spew with that one mere sentence. (and please don’t give me the obvious "i wouldn’t fuck ya anyway" crap) #7) ‘fuck your advice’… then ya go on.. ‘Still i’ll listen’… which says something about how you treat yourself. you are gonna listen to something you decided was advice to be fucked? i mean.. once you decided it was worthless, why ya gonna keep on listenin to it? that’s either insane, or you are a victim of forcing the unappetizing on yourself. if i thought Gary’s advice was fucked, i’d not listen to Gary.. but that’s just me, and i’m kinda dumb. doesn’t mean i wouldn’t fuck Gary, just his advice. (seperation of fuck and fuck)…. i think it’s in the constitution..(or church and state or sum shit.. hell, i dunno) I’ll try to channel this energy into helping myself rather than getting worked up over hospitals, doctors, whatever.
i shoulda never started enumeratin.. i fergot what number i’m on and i ain’t scrollin.. anyway…. that’s cool, Jan. getting worked up over hospitals and doctors is an exercise in futility.. cuz they ain’t goin nowhere. now on this point, Jan? you and me (uss’ns) agree.. I HATE PHYSICIANS AND HOSPITALS AND PSYCHIATRISTS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS AND PHYSICAL THERAPISTS AND PHARMACISTS AND PSEUDONYMS AND … well, maybe i just hate the letter "P" when ain’t phoenetically correct, i dunno.. i’m obsessive.. don’t mind me. actually, i don’t like em, i accept them. acceptance as opposed to hate will change yer everlovin’ world, i swear fore god. and i agree, channel your energy into helping yourself, as i don’t believe yer gonna be gettin’ a whollllllllllle helluva lot of help from this group no more, i mean… FUCK US ! and tryin to control our responses to you, is actually giving up your own control in lieu of controlling us ! and thanks a heap dude, (but we ain’t worthyyyyyyyyyyyyy) and allowing doctors, hospitals, etc to anger you is simply giving them your power. yer givin power to an inanimate object ! (well…. nebbermind). you should hang on ta that, fer real.. ya never know when yer gonna need it ta be kind to others… so don’t deplete it on what you can’t control! (that power/control crap confuses me sumtimes, eh?) Jan
HEY ! I DON’T WANT YOUR SIGNATURE ! I WANNA HEAR YER EXPERIENCES, DAMMIT! btw, Jan.. you have posted only a few posts. you want no advice, you’ve talked only about what you are NOT willing to do, what you will NEVER do, where you will NEVER go, what you HATE about most things we speak of… how bout you give us a list of what you ARE willing to do, you might even hit on sumthing you figure out for yourself when you remove the negativity and open your arms and heart to the possibilities.. (a white winged dove never landed on an arm that was not outstretched.) you may find that all your "i’m not gonna’s" and "no way, uht uh’s", and "i don’t want advice’s", and "FUCK YOU GARY’S" are merely fears of what you may find if you allow yourself the option instead of removing one of the only 2 options available. ’will do’… and ‘won’t do’….. you remove "won’t do".. you done slashed yer options in half ! closed mind never opened any doors, yanno. (well, no minds ever opened any doors, come ta think of it.. but DAMN ! that sounded profound) and fear and the avoidance of fear will simply remain, and by not confronting fear, yer gonna stay stuck. in da muck…. and from what i understood you to say, you wanted change. yanno? i’m involved in an alternative lifestyle, Jan…. where protocal and order are prevalent. but yanno what i hear the most in this structured environment? ("it doesn’t matter if you do it right, what matters is that you are willing") so whadda ya say ya get that lumpah coal outta yer ass.. it could be a diamond by mornin’.. tell Gary yer sorry ( i AM carryin his luv chile ) and stop all that macho crap.. i feel like i’m smack dab in da middle of da Village People when you post sometimes. YYYYYYYYYYYYY MMMMMM C A !!!!! ::wearin a raspberry beret:: ~tanya
Response:
Mr. Jan: A very good friend of mine in Albany, New York is in alcohol recovery, and has been for about a year and some.
she’s been in detox for over a year ??????ya think she might need ta go ta detox for detox? "get out of your head" – essentially saying that doing something that consumes your mental energy does not leave it available for being paranoid, freaking out etc.. I have also applied this concept a bit, and found it works rather well.
ok.. what does "gettin outta yer head" have ta do with doing something that consumes your mental energy? i’m thinkin bein IN your head would consume more mental energy, and doesn’t leave it available (or give room) for bein paranoid, etc… cuz if yer IN yer head, yer head’s full.. if yer "outta yer head". you got like an open space for panoia, freakin out, and lesbian mud wrestlin’. i have also applied this concept a bit, and found it works rather well.
sooooooooo, "IT" dude.. how you get outta yer head? what’s the process? and does it require anesthesia or singin "kumbaya"? i wanna watch ya do it tho.. i bet it takes lotsa lube. ~tanya
Response:
I take my hat off to you.
now…… thassa start ! You are one mean bitch and I mean that respectfully.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. RUFF RUFF ! I need people like you in my life.
exactly what time is yer girlfriend movin out? (i’d hate ta pass her with muh u-haul) It helps to see that expressing anger doesn’t lead to the end of the world.
(no, but it leads ta jail .. anger + tanya + square bottles = 3 hots’n a cot.) I have no idea how I got this far.
it is a mystery, huh? A lot of alternative treatments,
translation: (beer) panicking, crying, screaming, chaos, praying, fearing,
and that’s just not for breakfast anymore ! reading on the internet
(ya just look at tha articles?) … cuz you best not have carpel tunnel when yer unpackin muh u-haul…. I suppose it doesn’t matter.
if it don’t matter, why ya writin? you might wanna rethink that last sentence. (it’s whiny, and makes me wanna vomit) I’m here now and I need to take the next steps to help myself.
yer off to a good start ! BELLE IS ON HER WAY ! yer drinkin coffee, doin appointments, next thing yanno, you’ll be nekkid in the galleria on santa’s lap sayin "I’M FREEEEEEEE, I’M FREEEEEEEEEEE".. (WAIT! i bet some’d be willin’ ta pay big bucks… this could be a business opportunity…. we’ll get back ta that) (ya know yer life sux when sumbody else makin’ an appointment and drinkin coffee motivates jealousy) In what way is it still a continuous crisis?
(i know what y’all are thinkin… "OMG, NO HE DID NOT ASK HER FOR A LAUNDRY LIST").. but he did so.. pffffffft. i just finished an federal insurance fraud investigation, of 2 years motivated by my dad’s wife stealing out of my purse while i spent the night with them,(my mom in the hospital with congestive heart failure, i made it to his house for his birthday). my insurance settlement. this lovely woman turned in my settlement check to my insurance company, said i set the burglary up, for no reason other than to make my dad upset, and she’s a sociopatic trail-blazer in the ways of terrorizing others, (as a hobby), with a record 23 pages long of harassment charges (unmotivated, i might add) including throwing a boulder thru my dad’s ex-wife’s window, telling my brother his wife was divorcing him (he shot himself immediately), spray painting this same woman’s condo black, having 3 thugs come to my tat shop after my brother’s suicide to "kill me" since "steve put the gun to his head instead of me," (which didn’t work out real well for one the thugs.. RIP) the list is about 17 more pages long, (i tell ya that so ya don’t think it’s just me… it’s her MO to combat boredom) and trust me, if i was gonna set it up, i’d a had a molotov cocktail thrown in the bitchin house for 30 bucks by a krackhead akross da skreet and had da place burnt down and collect 12 times what muh claim was for, as opposed to havin 12 tat artists break in (her story) and steal some things.. DON’T INSULT MY BUSINESS SENSE WHEN IT COMES TO FUNCTIONING WITH THE LOWLIFES AND INSURANCE FRAUD METHODS, OK? my assets were frozen for this entire 2 year peiod, everything i had was stolen from my house, 3 tat shops i had closed were housed in my garage, all stolen, i had no tools to make a living, access to no money, no access to my safety deposit box to even sell one of my cars, couldn’t sell my house, dad wasn’t allowed to talk to me, (PER HIS WIFE THAT DID THIS)i was living with friends all over the country, piercing supplies being donated by famous artists that heard of my plight, barely able to shower, as the anxiety, the unbelievable devastation this woman put me through as my dad stayed with her was emotionally horrific (he didn’t want to get involved). <vomit… i went from 4 tat shops, each doin between 150g -485g a year profit, a house, 2 cars, 18 employees,, working my ass off at my job i loved, attended a convention in california, had my house broken into, and if you don’t think you can lose everything at the drop of a hat, think again. if i could lose weight as fast as i lost my life, i’d feel vindicated. my brother shot himself, boyfriend shot himself, best friend hung himself, moved to cali with my boyfriend, he dumped me in SF at the top of the hill in noe valley, with no where to go, lived in the mission district awhile, them girls got me the money ta fly to my friend in LA, he dumped me cuz i was upset about all this shit, and he said i should grow up or get out… (and we ALL know the only option there !), hitchhiked to a biker rally, the boys gave me money to to back to another friend in SF, he stood over me naked when i was sleeping and i thought i’d rather be runnin thru a bic factory with a loadah dynamite strapped between muh thights, screamin "FLICK DAT BIC" and left to another friend in san diego that was wonderful to me, flew me back and forth to bama for depositions, OJ spent less time searchin for his wife’s killer across the golf-courses of america than i did bein deposed by every fuckin tom dick’n hairy lawyer with a combover and a convertible (really bad combo, as far as fashion statements go, trust me.. unless you like pencil thin mohawks on 58 year old dudes), i had the friggin "giftbook" memorized on southwest airlines, gettin’ from deposition to interview to lie detector test (admissable in my case), finally mediated the case, and all of the above coupled with panic attacks/disorder/bipolar2, bordering rapidly to bipolar3/paranoia/neurosis/borderline personality disorder, ADD/ADHD/OCD/and LMNOP and depression of such proportions that i couldn’t even get laid fer depressin the people drunk enuff ta overlook me and give it tha ole college try ! this left for one fuckin worn out chick. immediately after my case settled, i had made arrangements with some boys in my personal "friends of tanya club", got my target audience into the back of a van as planned, shaved her head, beat the woman in her throat, cuz i’m a real tuff chick with three 400 pound dudes holdin a bitch down, i’ll save the rest for the surety that the faint of heart are not among us,(it’s public record, no biggie, i don’t hide much, as its vital for me to share what anxiety can do to someone, (just when they think it’s safe ta go back into da water) but i don’t wanna get gross and have y’all get pissed at me AGIN !! my friggin dad pulls up for the first time in 30 friggin years EARLY home from tha office and off i go ta the psych ward, went from there to florida, where i entertained an extremely emotionally abusive relationship for a year, ended up in jail for beatin him with a mop, then and lived at my shrinks office there, as i had the other magnificent psychiatric suites on my tour of this great land of ours since i began this ramble, they all began to know me so well, they knew me by the sound of the aglets on my doc marten grinder boots rubbing together as i entered their office. my assets, of course now unfrozen, (my IRA accounts, my mutual funds, the deed to my house, the titles to my car, my insurance policies, my checking accounts, yanno.. little things like that) went straight from the thawing room to the legal eagles. yup ! i’d lost my whole family, my brother, of course, my Dad, and now i cared not to speak with him, try as he might, (since the "situation" was over in his head), and i had JUST found the time between all these battles to truly dwell in my distain for his choices, to revel in my hatred for his hypocrisy that left me emotionally paralyzed, and i was not to be bothered by anything or anyone that cared to interrupt this luxurious wave of passion i was creating as my sanctuary. i didn’t want my solo party of utter putrid abhorance for this arrogant, ostentatious, loyalty-lackin, chicken shit, lowlife (did i mention god-fearing?) piece of shit that had stood by as a mexican fuckin’ gang-bangin’ drug addict whore, my age, his wife, destroyed his own daughter, his daughter that had worked diligently, as i followed his footsteps to the beat of a different drummer, had succeded, not necessarily in the tattoo/piercing business, but in the business of ultimate self-promotion in an arena that would challenge even the best of advertising experts, the daughter that had brightened his life as she was chosen businessperson of the year in an industry the likes of which tuscaloosa had never seen, and had withstood angst, stigma, and judgement. a pride that shone on his face the moment he spoke of my accomplishments. it was all a lie, as his choice had dictated. and the stroke he suffered the next week was somehow overshadowed, for me, by speaking with my friends in a D/s chatroom. (priorities, priorities) yes, he had a stroke… he called me to his hospital bed to bring him his tape recorder, i told him, as you all expected "i don’t want to get in the middle", i then explained that my loyalty to him had shifted, as i had been trained by the best over the last 2 years regarding the integrity of loyalty..and i no longer cared if he lived or died, but it HAD become increasingly important that this person i once worshipped as my Dad, was now the real estate mogul the rest of society viewed him as, and the name of his legal team was the only interest, vested interest, at that, i had in him from the day of the incident in question til the end of his life. his money, commercial property,and perhaps the name of the casino in which he was comped for his bacara pleasure, his assets, liquid or otherwise, his controlling parnerships in his syndication deals, (i had no interest in limited partnerships, i was a tad snooty.. (snotty?) snooty regarding dealings with his cohorts.. my dad is a multi-millionaire. <<smile i had at that moment, a fleeting moment of overwhelming happiness that i was witnessing for the first time in my life, a sense of satisfaction that this man i so loved and respected was laying in a pool, surrounded by, … read more »
Response:
Mr. Jan: A very good friend of mine in Albany, New York is in alcohol recovery, and has been for about a year and some. She attributes much of her progress (and she has most certainly made some) to her support group’s one particular ‘mantra’ (of many) which basically says "get out of your head" – essentially saying that doing something that consumes your mental energy does not leave it available for being paranoid, freaking out etc.. I have also applied this concept a bit, and found it works rather well. It actually now looks a bit like veiled ‘advice’ which you don’t want. Actually though, I never was one for following the rules… G
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – oooooooh yeah, and they took my xanax away.. and i walked around 24/7 yellin "I’M HAVIN A PANIC ATTACK, BY THE WAY"… so it kinda broke the ice, sorta gave room for these sick depressed people ta be able ta laff about stuff, i guess i made it a point to change to mood of my surroundings and the patients, as well, which comes quite natural to me, as i’m in a business that i deal with anxiety and fear daily, (tattoo/piercing business), so i just sorta transferred that same energy to a different venue.. i ain’t braggin about changin the whole mood of the unit, or the meetings, cuz it’s the one and only thing i do well, it was just an opportune situation for me ta do that… or i coulda wallowed in my self-pity but then i wouldn’t have had a ball with these nutz ! (and i’d'ah felt guilty about eatin 3 pinks of ice cream a day if i was all pouty) .. but we’re two different people, you and me, you woulda been one of the ones i annoyed into likin’ me, i’m sure.. (but then agin, i can have fun in jail, when i know i’m up against a wall, i gotta make the choice ta deal with it probably differently than most people). i wasn’t suggesting you go back there, i was sharing my experience, as you wanted, and maybe see how a different focus can change an experience, not only for yourself, but others. I take my hat off to you. You are one mean bitch and I mean that respectfully. I need people like you in my life. It helps to see that expressing anger doesn’t lead to the end of the world. I discharged myself after two days and I don’t know what I did the next few weeks to get better. you probly watched Dr. Phil.. that always does if for most people I have no idea how I got this far. A lot of alternative treatments, panicking, crying, screaming, chaos, praying, fearing, reading on the internet, girlfriend holding me. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m here now and I need to take the next steps to help myself. It was continuous crisis every moment. my life is STILL a continuous crisis every moment. i just gotta laff about it.. no choice. In what way is it still a continuous crisis? Are you dealing with normal problems or is the anxiety and other emotional issues? I f-ing hate hospitals and doctors. I hate them with a vengeance and so do most of my friends. who don’t? Thank God there’s someone who agrees with me. that’s why i choose to deal with them the way i do. their holier-than-thou attitudes can’t compete with my "fuck you" attitude, they ain’t equipped ta deal with it, they are a necessary part of my personal treatment, as i need them for meds, (writing my own scripts didn’t work out for me a few years back so well in the end).. and i feel a sense of accomplishment when i bust up in their ivory tower and manipulate them down a notch or two. i guess it’s not only a necessity for me, as i HAVE to have my benzos, it’s also a way ta get my frustrations out. it also gives me a sense of control, i guess. (i think i’m ONE SICK TICKET) Sounds like you know yourself quite well. I hate the medical establishment but need them too. No way. There’s no way in hell I’ll go back to a psychiatric ward. The whole focus there is on sickness. The human element is completely missing. Very human needs like love, support, encouragement, a simple hug are totally not there. Strong, messy feelings are not allowed. yup ! you definitely should been in there with me. i changed the whole tone of that world with muh dazzling smile. (ok, i’m a dork) I probably should have been there with you. Well maybe not. I don’t know whether I could have taken it in. I read an article in a local magazine about a therapist who wanted to start such a place. I’d be there in a shot. yer cordially invited to move to Wyoming and live in the commune i fantasize about opening. Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind. It’d have to be a place where strong emotions are allowed. i’m sayin i don’t recommend killin other people to get in a hospital, sayin yer suicidal is probly more acceptable, but it’s a moot point, since you don’t wanna go there anyway. (and even if ya did end up goin, listen to the patients, not the doctors..) for example.. at every meeting with a new counselor.. i’d say "are you a recovering addict?".. if they said "no.. but i have a degree in.. blah blah blah"… i’d say "YER DISMISSED… YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT"… and we’d have our own meeting, as the patients are the best support system in an environment such as this. Wow, you are so cool. You’re right. The patients are a better support than the staff. How can one really have faith in a counselor who has not been through some serious stuff themselves? Maybe you can, but it makes a huge difference to know that the counselor speaks from experience. how’s expectiving motivation seeing what you need to change? how do them two even coincide? and again… I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen. how’s that workin’ for ya? Again let me explain. I have the attitude that I’m waiting for the motivation to come and then I’ll get off my ass. I SEE THAT THAT IS WRONG! I need to change this. I need to force myself to do things. Please give me some fucking credit for chrissakes. Not you too! That’s what all my support network are saying. They’re all saying I’ve made huge improvements and that I just need to continue what I’m doing. could it be because your casual "going to an appointment and having coffee in town"… is not at all that casual to some of us? some of us, (i’ll speak for myself) hear that and feel a sense of envy. I’m sorry if it came across as casual. The fact is that it is anything but casual for me to go out and do things. The WHOLE fucking time I’m paranoid about becoming depressed and/or freaking out or something. It’s really fucking painful and it sucks. What sucks even more is knowing you can’t stay at home because that certainly won’t help. In fact it will probably make things worse. Well, I guess it depends on which stage of recovery you’re in. Some people probably need to stay at home for a bit (I know I did) but then the time will come to take the next step. If you aren’t going forward, you’re going backward…. is it possible that you are stuck in a rut that depression carved out for you that was new territory, maybe a new experience (i mean, i dunno yer life) that created a comfort zone you’d never felt before to excuse youself from your life? and you’re not quite ready to let go of it? maybe a security blanket of convenience in your back pocket just in case you feel a need to duck outta life and it’s a handy excuse that creates no need for explanation? It’s quite possible. I don’t really want to speculate. All I know is that I’m sick of it. I see only two options for myself now. Either I really get well or…. I have no idea. No more pussy footing around for me. Jan
Response:
Intelesting, intelesting….I didn’t know that. Do you know of any website where I can find more information, Kelly?
this site discusses anxiety as a symptom of bipolar, as well as some interesting ideas on bipolar and anxiety treatments: http://www.psycheducation.org/index.html this specific article deals with anxious depression: http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/02_diagnosis.html#Anchor-Anx… here’s an advice column about it (also Dr. Phelps from above): http://www.bipolarworld.net/Phelps/ph_2002/ph718.htm http://www.merck.com/mrkshared/mmanual/section15/chapter189/189a.jsp this link has one relevant paragraph, but it is Merck, and they’re pretty reliable: Mixed anxiety-depression (anxious depression) refers to conditions in which mild symptoms common to anxiety and mood disorders are present. They usually pursue a chronically intermittent course. Because of the greater gravity of depressive disorders and the risk of suicide, patients with mixed anxiety-depression should be treated for depression. Obsessions, panic, and social phobias with hypersomnic depression suggest bipolar II disorder. there’s more out there, i just don’t have the energy to search for it today. happy reading! -kelly
Response:
No it’s not just anxiety/panic….I’ve been diagnosed with major depression (clinical) and last week the doctor said I might have bipolar 1 or 2……this was a doctor I was seeing through the state for a disability claim. there’s a theory that "Anxious Depression" is actually a form of Bipolar 2. food for thought… -kelly
Intelesting, intelesting….I didn’t know that. Do you know of any website where I can find more information, Kelly? Philip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Actually Jan, you Do need a little piece of advice and I’m not a bit afraid to offer it up either. Your ‘hatred with a vengeance’ for the western medical establishment and it’s various trappings is not healthy for you – lose it. They are certainly imperfect, and not every situation is "solvable" by them, but they absolutely have their place. Everything is imperfect and you need to get comfortable with that. I won’t ‘advise’ you as to how, since I’m already breaking the rules giving you advice – LOL Keep the faith man, things do get better, they definitely got better for me. Kind Regards, Gary
With all due respect, Gary, f— your advice. Still I’ll listen to it. I’ll try to channel this energy into helping myself rather than getting worked up over hospitals, doctors, whatever. Jan
Response:
No it’s not just anxiety/panic….I’ve been diagnosed with major depression (clinical) and last week the doctor said I might have bipolar 1 or 2……this was a doctor I was seeing through the state for a disability claim.
there’s a theory that "Anxious Depression" is actually a form of Bipolar 2. food for thought… -kelly
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – oooooooh yeah, and they took my xanax away.. and i walked around 24/7 yellin "I’M HAVIN A PANIC ATTACK, BY THE WAY"… so it kinda broke the ice, sorta gave room for these sick depressed people ta be able ta laff about stuff, i guess i made it a point to change to mood of my surroundings and the patients, as well, which comes quite natural to me, as i’m in a business that i deal with anxiety and fear daily, (tattoo/piercing business), so i just sorta transferred that same energy to a different venue.. i ain’t braggin about changin the whole mood of the unit, or the meetings, cuz it’s the one and only thing i do well, it was just an opportune situation for me ta do that… or i coulda wallowed in my self-pity but then i wouldn’t have had a ball with these nutz ! (and i’d'ah felt guilty about eatin 3 pinks of ice cream a day if i was all pouty) .. but we’re two different people, you and me, you woulda been one of the ones i annoyed into likin’ me, i’m sure.. (but then agin, i can have fun in jail, when i know i’m up against a wall, i gotta make the choice ta deal with it probably differently than most people). i wasn’t suggesting you go back there, i was sharing my experience, as you wanted, and maybe see how a different focus can change an experience, not only for yourself, but others.
I take my hat off to you. You are one mean bitch and I mean that respectfully. I need people like you in my life. It helps to see that expressing anger doesn’t lead to the end of the world. I discharged myself after two days and I don’t know what I did the next few weeks to get better. you probly watched Dr. Phil.. that always does if for most people
I have no idea how I got this far. A lot of alternative treatments, panicking, crying, screaming, chaos, praying, fearing, reading on the internet, girlfriend holding me. I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m here now and I need to take the next steps to help myself. It was continuous crisis every moment. my life is STILL a continuous crisis every moment. i just gotta laff about it.. no choice.
In what way is it still a continuous crisis? Are you dealing with normal problems or is the anxiety and other emotional issues? I f-ing hate hospitals and doctors. I hate them with a vengeance and so do most of my friends. who don’t?
Thank God there’s someone who agrees with me. that’s why i choose to deal with them the way i do. their holier-than-thou attitudes can’t compete with my "fuck you" attitude, they ain’t equipped ta deal with it, they are a necessary part of my personal treatment, as i need them for meds, (writing my own scripts didn’t work out for me a few years back so well in the end).. and i feel a sense of accomplishment when i bust up in their ivory tower and manipulate them down a notch or two. i guess it’s not only a necessity for me, as i HAVE to have my benzos, it’s also a way ta get my frustrations out. it also gives me a sense of control, i guess. (i think i’m ONE SICK TICKET)
Sounds like you know yourself quite well. I hate the medical establishment but need them too. No way. There’s no way in hell I’ll go back to a psychiatric ward. The whole focus there is on sickness. The human element is completely missing. Very human needs like love, support, encouragement, a simple hug are totally not there. Strong, messy feelings are not allowed. yup ! you definitely should been in there with me. i changed the whole tone of that world with muh dazzling smile. (ok, i’m a dork)
I probably should have been there with you. Well maybe not. I don’t know whether I could have taken it in. I read an article in a local magazine about a therapist who wanted to start such a place. I’d be there in a shot. yer cordially invited to move to Wyoming and live in the commune i fantasize about opening.
Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind. It’d have to be a place where strong emotions are allowed. i’m sayin i don’t recommend killin other people to get in a hospital, sayin yer suicidal is probly more acceptable, but it’s a moot point, since you don’t wanna go there anyway. (and even if ya did end up goin, listen to the patients, not the doctors..) for example.. at every meeting with a new counselor.. i’d say "are you a recovering addict?".. if they said "no.. but i have a degree in.. blah blah blah"… i’d say "YER DISMISSED… YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT"… and we’d have our own meeting, as the patients are the best support system in an environment such as this.
Wow, you are so cool. You’re right. The patients are a better support than the staff. How can one really have faith in a counselor who has not been through some serious stuff themselves? Maybe you can, but it makes a huge difference to know that the counselor speaks from experience. how’s expectiving motivation seeing what you need to change? how do them two even coincide? and again… I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen. how’s that workin’ for ya?
Again let me explain. I have the attitude that I’m waiting for the motivation to come and then I’ll get off my ass. I SEE THAT THAT IS WRONG! I need to change this. I need to force myself to do things. Please give me some fucking credit for chrissakes. Not you too! That’s what all my support network are saying. They’re all saying I’ve made huge improvements and that I just need to continue what I’m doing. could it be because your casual "going to an appointment and having coffee in town"… is not at all that casual to some of us? some of us, (i’ll speak for myself) hear that and feel a sense of envy.
I’m sorry if it came across as casual. The fact is that it is anything but casual for me to go out and do things. The WHOLE fucking time I’m paranoid about becoming depressed and/or freaking out or something. It’s really fucking painful and it sucks. What sucks even more is knowing you can’t stay at home because that certainly won’t help. In fact it will probably make things worse. Well, I guess it depends on which stage of recovery you’re in. Some people probably need to stay at home for a bit (I know I did) but then the time will come to take the next step. If you aren’t going forward, you’re going backward…. is it possible that you are stuck in a rut that depression carved out for you that was new territory, maybe a new experience (i mean, i dunno yer life) that created a comfort zone you’d never felt before to excuse youself from your life? and you’re not quite ready to let go of it? maybe a security blanket of convenience in your back pocket just in case you feel a need to duck outta life and it’s a handy excuse that creates no need for explanation?
It’s quite possible. I don’t really want to speculate. All I know is that I’m sick of it. I see only two options for myself now. Either I really get well or…. I have no idea. No more pussy footing around for me. Jan
Response:
It sounds like you were in better shape than I was when you were admitted.
yeah, i was in terrible shape.. i was pissed cuz the bitch wasn’t DEAD ! Add to that I was feeling so bad and anxious and desperate for help from these very same people and you understand how panicked I was.
oooooooh yeah, and they took my xanax away.. and i walked around 24/7 yellin "I’M HAVIN A PANIC ATTACK, BY THE WAY"… so it kinda broke the ice, sorta gave room for these sick depressed people ta be able ta laff about stuff, i guess i made it a point to change to mood of my surroundings and the patients, as well, which comes quite natural to me, as i’m in a business that i deal with anxiety and fear daily, (tattoo/piercing business), so i just sorta transferred that same energy to a different venue.. i ain’t braggin about changin the whole mood of the unit, or the meetings, cuz it’s the one and only thing i do well, it was just an opportune situation for me ta do that… or i coulda wallowed in my self-pity but then i wouldn’t have had a ball with these nutz ! (and i’d'ah felt guilty about eatin 3 pinks of ice cream a day if i was all pouty) .. but we’re two different people, you and me, you woulda been one of the ones i annoyed into likin’ me, i’m sure.. (but then agin, i can have fun in jail, when i know i’m up against a wall, i gotta make the choice ta deal with it probably differently than most people). i wasn’t suggesting you go back there, i was sharing my experience, as you wanted, and maybe see how a different focus can change an experience, not only for yourself, but others. I discharged myself after two days and I don’t know what I did the next few weeks to get better.
you probly watched Dr. Phil.. that always does if for most people It was continuous crisis every moment.
my life is STILL a continuous crisis every moment. i just gotta laff about it.. no choice. I f-ing hate hospitals and doctors. I hate them with a vengeance and so do most of my friends.
who don’t? that’s why i choose to deal with them the way i do. their holier-than-thou attitudes can’t compete with my "fuck you" attitude, they ain’t equipped ta deal with it, they are a necessary part of my personal treatment, as i need them for meds, (writing my own scripts didn’t work out for me a few years back so well in the end).. and i feel a sense of accomplishment when i bust up in their ivory tower and manipulate them down a notch or two. i guess it’s not only a necessity for me, as i HAVE to have my benzos, it’s also a way ta get my frustrations out. it also gives me a sense of control, i guess. (i think i’m ONE SICK TICKET) No way. There’s no way in hell I’ll go back to a psychiatric ward. The whole focus there is on sickness. The human element is completely missing. Very human needs like love, support, encouragement, a simple hug are totally not there. Strong, messy feelings are not allowed.
yup ! you definitely should been in there with me. i changed the whole tone of that world with muh dazzling smile. (ok, i’m a dork) I read an article in a local magazine about a therapist who wanted to start such a place. I’d be there in a shot.
yer cordially invited to move to Wyoming and live in the commune i fantasize about opening. i don’t recommend homicide, or attempting it… (well, i recommend it, but it’s illegal).. but say yer suicidal or sumthin. they’ll stick yer ass in some paper scrubs in a heartbeat. make it work for ya, (i know, everybody ain’t a big dork like me..but ya can fake it, yanno.. if you really wanna have a good time, get your head clear, and LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN !!!!! to other patients… screw the doctors!) Not sure what you’re saying here.
i’m sayin i don’t recommend killin other people to get in a hospital, sayin yer suicidal is probly more acceptable, but it’s a moot point, since you don’t wanna go there anyway. (and even if ya did end up goin, listen to the patients, not the doctors..) for example.. at every meeting with a new counselor.. i’d say "are you a recovering addict?".. if they said "no.. but i have a degree in.. blah blah blah"… i’d say "YER DISMISSED… YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT"… and we’d have our own meeting, as the patients are the best support system in an environment such as this. but you ain’t goin, so it don’t matter.. so all that was just rhetoric, basically.. to be ignored. I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen. Well, my point was that I’m seeing what I need to change.
how’s expectiving motivation seeing what you need to change? how do them two even coincide? and again… I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen.
how’s that workin’ for ya? Not you too! That’s what all my support network are saying. They’re all saying I’ve made huge improvements and that I just need to continue what I’m doing.
could it be because your casual "going to an appointment and having coffee in town"… is not at all that casual to some of us? some of us, (i’ll speak for myself) hear that and feel a sense of envy. is it possible that you are stuck in a rut that depression carved out for you that was new territory, maybe a new experience (i mean, i dunno yer life) that created a comfort zone you’d never felt before to excuse youself from your life? and you’re not quite ready to let go of it? maybe a security blanket of convenience in your back pocket just in case you feel a need to duck outta life and it’s a handy excuse that creates no need for explanation? that was food for thougt, not at all a judgement… possibly an option. Gotta go. It’s good to talk. I have a lot of talking to do I guess.
i might not be your best bet for talkin… i don’t do much’ah that.. lalalalalalalalal ~tanya xoxoxo
Response:
Actually Jan, you Do need a little piece of advice and I’m not a bit afraid to offer it up either. Your ‘hatred with a vengeance’ for the western medical establishment and it’s various trappings is not healthy for you – lose it. They are certainly imperfect, and not every situation is "solvable" by them, but they absolutely have their place. Everything is imperfect and you need to get comfortable with that. I won’t ‘advise’ you as to how, since I’m already breaking the rules giving you advice – LOL Keep the faith man, things do get better, they definitely got better for me. Kind Regards, Gary
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – heya Mr. Jan ! ya want experiences? ok… i was checked in a psych ward a few months ago, but i was homicidal, so i kinda didn’t have a choice, i got totally busted tryin ta kill this woman that had fucked my my life singlehandedly… so my Dad took me to the ER, i had a choice of the psych or detox/psych unit, i chose the latter, cuz drug addicts i KNEW i could deal with, a buncha schizos, i wasn’t so sure. i think i mighta had a different focus than you, i thought.. "well, i’m here… i might as well have fun"… everyone was friggin depressed, mopin around, bored the shit outta me for like 2 hours, then i just changed my outlook, and after 7 days, i didn’t wanna leave, everyone wanted me ta stay, i cried when i left, the nurses cried, the other patients cried, it was like leavin summer camp. i ate like 3 pinks of ice cream a day, tons of jello pudding, and just laughed, participated, (well, i probly went over tha top participating), totally got real nosey about other people’s personal lives, and found it very interesting, made a bunch of new friends that i still talk to, and didn’t let doctors push me around, i didn’t cop to their agenda, i was there for ME.. not THEM… if they said sumthin stupid? i said "YER AN IDIOT, FUCK YER STUPIDITY, NOW LET’S GET DOWN TA WHAT I NEED"… and trust me, ya gotta kinda do that with these "docs"… It sounds like you were in better shape than I was when you were admitted. I was in TERRIBLE shape. I dare not even write down what I experienced. I probably need to at some point in order to let it go. I’m glad to read how you made the most of it. Being around fucked up people can be liberating sometimes. You can sort of let go of your own mask. I had a big problem with the nurses and the doctor. The doctor was a real bitch and they rotated the nurses every f-ing day. How the hell was I supposed to feel safe when I don’t know who I’m dealing with. Add to that I was feeling so bad and anxious and desperate for help from these very same people and you understand how panicked I was. I discharged myself after two days and I don’t know what I did the next few weeks to get better. It was continuous crisis every moment. It still is I suppose but now my health is better. I f-ing hate hospitals and doctors. I hate them with a vengeance and so do most of my friends. but maybe if you tried the hospital again, with a different focus, and bugged the shit outta people about their different experiences (hey.. ya said ya wanted experiences !)… it may be an option. No way. There’s no way in hell I’ll go back to a psychiatric ward. The whole focus there is on sickness. The human element is completely missing. Very human needs like love, support, encouragement, a simple hug are totally not there. Strong, messy feelings are not allowed. Mind you, I’d LOVE to get into a recovery program some where but then the therapists/ leaders/ whatever-you-call-them would have to know what they’re doing. I read an article in a local magazine about a therapist who wanted to start such a place. I’d be there in a shot. i don’t recommend homicide, or attempting it… (well, i recommend it, but it’s illegal).. but say yer suicidal or sumthin. they’ll stick yer ass in some paper scrubs in a heartbeat. make it work for ya, (i know, everybody ain’t a big dork like me..but ya can fake it, yanno.. if you really wanna have a good time, get your head clear, and LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN !!!!! to other patients… screw the doctors!) Not sure what you’re saying here. i know you said you didnt’ want advice, but that’s what other people’s experiences are, actually. another way of thinking from your own. I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen. how’s that workin’ for ya? Well, my point was that I’m seeing what I need to change. Anyway, I’m going out now. I’m going to one of my appointments and will later have coffee in town. sounds like yer doin better than yer givin yerself credit for. Not you too! That’s what all my support network are saying. They’re all saying I’ve made huge improvements and that I just need to continue what I’m doing. Gotta go. It’s good to talk. I have a lot of talking to do I guess. Jan
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – heya Mr. Jan ! ya want experiences? ok… i was checked in a psych ward a few months ago, but i was homicidal, so i kinda didn’t have a choice, i got totally busted tryin ta kill this woman that had fucked my my life singlehandedly… so my Dad took me to the ER, i had a choice of the psych or detox/psych unit, i chose the latter, cuz drug addicts i KNEW i could deal with, a buncha schizos, i wasn’t so sure. i think i mighta had a different focus than you, i thought.. "well, i’m here… i might as well have fun"… everyone was friggin depressed, mopin around, bored the shit outta me for like 2 hours, then i just changed my outlook, and after 7 days, i didn’t wanna leave, everyone wanted me ta stay, i cried when i left, the nurses cried, the other patients cried, it was like leavin summer camp. i ate like 3 pinks of ice cream a day, tons of jello pudding, and just laughed, participated, (well, i probly went over tha top participating), totally got real nosey about other people’s personal lives, and found it very interesting, made a bunch of new friends that i still talk to, and didn’t let doctors push me around, i didn’t cop to their agenda, i was there for ME.. not THEM… if they said sumthin stupid? i said "YER AN IDIOT, FUCK YER STUPIDITY, NOW LET’S GET DOWN TA WHAT I NEED"… and trust me, ya gotta kinda do that with these "docs"…
It sounds like you were in better shape than I was when you were admitted. I was in TERRIBLE shape. I dare not even write down what I experienced. I probably need to at some point in order to let it go. I’m glad to read how you made the most of it. Being around fucked up people can be liberating sometimes. You can sort of let go of your own mask. I had a big problem with the nurses and the doctor. The doctor was a real bitch and they rotated the nurses every f-ing day. How the hell was I supposed to feel safe when I don’t know who I’m dealing with. Add to that I was feeling so bad and anxious and desperate for help from these very same people and you understand how panicked I was. I discharged myself after two days and I don’t know what I did the next few weeks to get better. It was continuous crisis every moment. It still is I suppose but now my health is better. I f-ing hate hospitals and doctors. I hate them with a vengeance and so do most of my friends. but maybe if you tried the hospital again, with a different focus, and bugged the shit outta people about their different experiences (hey.. ya said ya wanted experiences !)… it may be an option.
No way. There’s no way in hell I’ll go back to a psychiatric ward. The whole focus there is on sickness. The human element is completely missing. Very human needs like love, support, encouragement, a simple hug are totally not there. Strong, messy feelings are not allowed. Mind you, I’d LOVE to get into a recovery program some where but then the therapists/ leaders/ whatever-you-call-them would have to know what they’re doing. I read an article in a local magazine about a therapist who wanted to start such a place. I’d be there in a shot. i don’t recommend homicide, or attempting it… (well, i recommend it, but it’s illegal).. but say yer suicidal or sumthin. they’ll stick yer ass in some paper scrubs in a heartbeat. make it work for ya, (i know, everybody ain’t a big dork like me..but ya can fake it, yanno.. if you really wanna have a good time, get your head clear, and LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN !!!!! to other patients… screw the doctors!)
Not sure what you’re saying here. i know you said you didnt’ want advice, but that’s what other people’s experiences are, actually. another way of thinking from your own. I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen. how’s that workin’ for ya?
Well, my point was that I’m seeing what I need to change. Anyway, I’m going out now. I’m going to one of my appointments and will later have coffee in town. sounds like yer doin better than yer givin yerself credit for.
Not you too! That’s what all my support network are saying. They’re all saying I’ve made huge improvements and that I just need to continue what I’m doing. Gotta go. It’s good to talk. I have a lot of talking to do I guess. Jan
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello Jan: I think everyone here has covered most everything I could think of right now. It would be very convenient for ALL of us if action followed motivation, however it is the other way around. You have to force yourself to do something (action) and the motivation follows, which keeps you doing the new action. It doesn’t work any other way. Gary ps: Having been depressed and anxious, when i use the word "force", I’m not kidding at all – it’s truly about force with a capital F sometimes. GF
A good post. Right now I’m really struggling with motivation. I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen. However as you’re pointing out I may need to force myself. I am doing that more and more but I’m still scared and the temptation to just sit on my ass is still there. Actually I start to panic when I get the urge to sit on my ass because I know that won’t help. Fortunately there are a lot of people around me reminding me of the things that I am doing to help myself. I don’t see it but they do and they cheer me on. They all believe in me which is so important when I start to falter and I falter a lot. Right now I do feel the need to talk to others in the same situation. I don’t need advice as much as I need to hear others’ experiences. I suppose the greatest fear is to push yourself to do the things that are supposed to help you and then find out that you still feel terrible, worse even. That makes you want to withdraw even more. Anyway, I’m going out now. I’m going to one of my appointments and will later have coffee in town. My girlfriend is moving out tomorrow. I don’t know how I feel about that. This is after all a temporary situation. We’ll be moving back together next year sometime. I do need time away from her, I need to focus on myself. There’s just no room in my system for being together with someone right now. I just wish there was some program I could check myself into but there are no programs for anxiety and depression that I know of – unless you count hospitals and there is NO way I’m going there. Been there, done that. I don’t think they know what they’re doing there. I never met a doctor who recommended deep breathing for dealing with anxiety attacks. I had to find out from reading! FUCKING ASSHOLES. All they can think of is medication. If anyone can relate, do let me know. And please no advice. I’m getting plenty of help already. I just need to hear others’ experiences. regards, Jan
Response:
There’s just no room in my system for being together with someone right now. I just wish there was some program I could check myself into but there are no programs for anxiety and depression that I know of – unless you count hospitals and there is NO way I’m going there. Been there, done that. I don’t think they know what they’re doing there. I never met a doctor who recommended deep breathing for dealing with anxiety attacks. I had to find out from reading! FUCKING ASSHOLES. All they can think of is medication.
heya Mr. Jan ! ya want experiences? ok… i was checked in a psych ward a few months ago, but i was homicidal, so i kinda didn’t have a choice, i got totally busted tryin ta kill this woman that had fucked my my life singlehandedly… so my Dad took me to the ER, i had a choice of the psych or detox/psych unit, i chose the latter, cuz drug addicts i KNEW i could deal with, a buncha schizos, i wasn’t so sure. i think i mighta had a different focus than you, i thought.. "well, i’m here… i might as well have fun"… everyone was friggin depressed, mopin around, bored the shit outta me for like 2 hours, then i just changed my outlook, and after 7 days, i didn’t wanna leave, everyone wanted me ta stay, i cried when i left, the nurses cried, the other patients cried, it was like leavin summer camp. i ate like 3 pinks of ice cream a day, tons of jello pudding, and just laughed, participated, (well, i probly went over tha top participating), totally got real nosey about other people’s personal lives, and found it very interesting, made a bunch of new friends that i still talk to, and didn’t let doctors push me around, i didn’t cop to their agenda, i was there for ME.. not THEM… if they said sumthin stupid? i said "YER AN IDIOT, FUCK YER STUPIDITY, NOW LET’S GET DOWN TA WHAT I NEED"… and trust me, ya gotta kinda do that with these "docs"… but maybe if you tried the hospital again, with a different focus, and bugged the shit outta people about their different experiences (hey.. ya said ya wanted experiences !)… it may be an option. i don’t recommend homicide, or attempting it… (well, i recommend it, but it’s illegal).. but say yer suicidal or sumthin. they’ll stick yer ass in some paper scrubs in a heartbeat. make it work for ya, (i know, everybody ain’t a big dork like me..but ya can fake it, yanno.. if you really wanna have a good time, get your head clear, and LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN !!!!! to other patients… screw the doctors!) i know you said you didnt’ want advice, but that’s what other people’s experiences are, actually. another way of thinking from your own. I do expect the motivation to come first and then the action will happen.
how’s that workin’ for ya? Anyway, I’m going out now. I’m going to one of my appointments and will later have coffee in town.
sounds like yer doin better than yer givin yerself credit for. My girlfriend is moving out tomorrow. I don’t know how I feel about that. This is after all a temporary situation. We’ll be moving back together next year sometime. I do need time away from her,
GOOD ! every guy i’ve been with so far has felt MUCH better when i get outta their house. smoothe move ! good luck ! ~~~~tanya xoxoxoo
Response:
Do you have a family? Spouse, children? How is your relationship with them?
translation: PLEASE MARRY BELLE.. SHE’S SO FUCKIN DESPERATE ! ~~~~~tanya
Response:
I’m dealing with both. I’d just really really really like to know that I’m not alone here in this newsgroup. I’ve checked out the depression ngs but never found them to be of use. Too much medication talk there. I know it’s important to talk about medication but I can’t deal with it if there’s too much talk about it.
Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand. Sometimes one is caused by the other. They seem to be chemically related which might explain why antidepressants are often effective for anxiety/panic as well. There is bound to be medication talk about this subject as depression is very hard to overcome without meds. Although therapy can be very beneficial as well (and it doesn’t have to be either-or). Have you been in therapy and if so what kind? I’ve had depression for about 11 years now and it runs my whole life. It has really crippled my development as a whole person. I see that now. I think however that I’m getting out of it now. I see glimmers of hope but it is SOOO difficult.
Still, this sounds *promising*. Glimmers of hope is good! Try to hold on to them and reinforce the hope trigger (if you found it). It’s difficult to see that i’ve missed out on so much; career development, hobbies, sports, friends, partying. It’s like there’s a huge gap in my life and how will I rebuild my life especially since I’m still struggling with this condition.
I think many of us anxiety sufferers had or have a life, with or without depression, which probably would have been different from what it would have been without a disorder. The thing is to find out how to live a happier life within certain limitations and maybe beyond those. I know my life would have been different without more than 35 years of PD but I must also say that I never let that worry me too much. Strangely it’s only in the last few years that I’ve come to see it as an *issue* as earlier on I just accepted PD as a fact of life and lived with it. Now I have to really check myself to think rationally at times when I tend to feel *depressed* about living with PD. I don’t suffer from clinical depression like you do but I have my moments and last winter I really had to work on it. One sentence that I have found to be so true is: "Depression hates a moving target." Sitting on the couch waiting to feel better will *never* motivate anyone to do anything. The trick is to just get up and *do* it (whatever *it* is, anything) and then motivation will follow. Easier said than done, I know. Meds help with this. It’s difficult to believe that one can become well. Not just *cope* with depression but regain wholeness and vitality. I’ve done a lot of different alternative treatment over the years.
What did you do? (And how about some *regular* treatment?) Some good, some bad and now it seems I’ve run out of options other than to not worry and have faith. Not easy.
Years ago when I was in a very deep dark pit my then pdoc said"to me: "There is always *something* that will work." Of course I didn’t believe him at the time but in the end he was proven right. There will be *something* for you too, there are already glimmers of hope! Yes, I’m in therapy but it seems I have to move country and start over. I don’t know what therapy options I’ll find there.
Ah…you are in therapy. But what therapy? Moving may actually be beneficial, like making a new start, changing your life. I was at a group therapy meeting yesterday for anxiety. It was good to see how others are struggling but I still felt alone. I thought they were lucky. They were *only* dealing with anxiety and not depression. They had jobs, lives. Anxiety was just interfering with their normal existence. Heck, my WHOLE life is about anxiety and depression. Not one moment goes where I’m not affected in some way. Well, actually, I guess I don’t know what’s going on in their lives.
There is little sense in comparing our fate with that of others. There will always be people who seem better off and others who seem worse off. And indeed we often don’t know what goes on in other people’s lives and minds. If anyone can relate please let me know. It would help me so much.
I know many anxiety people who suffer from comorbid depression. IMO taking an antidepressant is mandatory if you are really clinically depressed if you don’t mind my saying so. And CBT works well too. I’d think that you would be best off doing both. I hope I’m not alone.
You’re not alone. We are all here. And even if not everybody has exactly the same disorder of combination of disorders as you do it’s not hard to relate. You might want to try to consciously direct your attention *outwards*, away from yourself and the vicious circle of gloomy thoughts and depressive feelings, make an effort to get out into the world. IIRC you’re still rather young, you *will* get to feel much better, especially whebn you will have found the right treratment. You may also want to read David Burns, "Feeling Good. The New Mood Therapy" which is an excellent self-help manual especially aimed at depression (but equally applicable to anxiety/panic). The keywords are (IMO): Do Something. Move. Philip
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Too much medication talk there.
did i mention… "amen"? Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand
not for me, that would be a luxury. a two-fer and BAM ! I’ve had depression for about 11 years now and it runs my whole life. It has really crippled my development as a whole person. I see that now. I think however that I’m getting out of it now. I see glimmers of hope but it is SOOO difficult.
have you thought of talkin to Gary or Philip about changing your focus? i highly recommend it. It’s difficult to see that i’ve missed out on so much; career development, hobbies, sports, friends, partying. It’s like there’s a huge gap in my life and how will I rebuild my life especially since I’m still struggling with this condition.
do ya think ya mighta experienced some really good stuff in the meantime? like stuff other people might not be privvy to or capable of? do you think you have a victim mentality? i know i do sometimes, then i look around….. and feel lucky. some people don’t understand comparative thinking, but i do. maybe try it sometime, walk thru the projects, talk to a social worker. just a thing that works fer me. i don’t suffer from depression normally, but boy.. has it got me by the short hairs now…. i so empathize with your chronic situation. "Depression hates a moving target." Sitting on the couch waiting to feel better will *never* motivate anyone to do anything.
i wonder if that applies to my computer chair too.
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Hello Jan: I think everyone here has covered most everything I could think of right now. It would be very convenient for ALL of us if action followed motivation, however it is the other way around. You have to force yourself to do something (action) and the motivation follows, which keeps you doing the new action. It doesn’t work any other way. Gary ps: Having been depressed and anxious, when i use the word "force", I’m not kidding at all – it’s truly about force with a capital F sometimes. GF – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m dealing with both. I’d just really really really like to know that I’m not alone here in this newsgroup. I’ve checked out the depression ngs but never found them to be of use. Too much medication talk there. I know it’s important to talk about medication but I can’t deal with it if there’s too much talk about it. I’ve had depression for about 11 years now and it runs my whole life. It has really crippled my development as a whole person. I see that now. I think however that I’m getting out of it now. I see glimmers of hope but it is SOOO difficult. It’s difficult to see that i’ve missed out on so much; career development, hobbies, sports, friends, partying. It’s like there’s a huge gap in my life and how will I rebuild my life especially since I’m still struggling with this condition. It’s difficult to believe that one can become well. Not just *cope* with depression but regain wholeness and vitality. I’ve done a lot of different alternative treatment over the years. Some good, some bad and now it seems I’ve run out of options other than to not worry and have faith. Not easy. Yes, I’m in therapy but it seems I have to move country and start over. I don’t know what therapy options I’ll find there. I was at a group therapy meeting yesterday for anxiety. It was good to see how others are struggling but I still felt alone. I thought they were lucky. They were *only* dealing with anxiety and not depression. They had jobs, lives. Anxiety was just interfering with their normal existence. Heck, my WHOLE life is about anxiety and depression. Not one moment goes where I’m not affected in some way. Well, actually, I guess I don’t know what’s going on in their lives. If anyone can relate please let me know. It would help me so much. I hope I’m not alone. regards, Jan PS. I’m still feeling extremely vulnerable so only helpful, supportive replies please. Yes Jan I knew a Jan I played wiffleball with back in the " day". yes to answer your question and add the word manic a few times and yes again. Sleep is the best thing for both anxiety and depression and I had the best damn ( sleep) last night. Somehow knowing how my body works , its a sure bet it aint going to be a great sleep tonight. My body gives me one good day and five borderline days to make realize how lucky the one day I had was so is it sane to be manic and Happy today? YOU BET, now aren’t you glad you asked. Or as my friend who does well on the outside says to me< " you have nothing to worry about compared to what I see what goes on out there" . You are doing very well.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m dealing with both. I’d just really really really like to know that I’m not alone here in this newsgroup. I’ve checked out the depression ngs but never found them to be of use. Too much medication talk there. I know it’s important to talk about medication but I can’t deal with it if there’s too much talk about it. I’ve had depression for about 11 years now and it runs my whole life. It has really crippled my development as a whole person. I see that now. I think however that I’m getting out of it now. I see glimmers of hope but it is SOOO difficult. It’s difficult to see that i’ve missed out on so much; career development, hobbies, sports, friends, partying. It’s like there’s a huge gap in my life and how will I rebuild my life especially since I’m still struggling with this condition. It’s difficult to believe that one can become well. Not just *cope* with depression but regain wholeness and vitality. I’ve done a lot of different alternative treatment over the years. Some good, some bad and now it seems I’ve run out of options other than to not worry and have faith. Not easy. Yes, I’m in therapy but it seems I have to move country and start over. I don’t know what therapy options I’ll find there. I was at a group therapy meeting yesterday for anxiety. It was good to see how others are struggling but I still felt alone. I thought they were lucky. They were *only* dealing with anxiety and not depression. They had jobs, lives. Anxiety was just interfering with their normal existence. Heck, my WHOLE life is about anxiety and depression. Not one moment goes where I’m not affected in some way. Well, actually, I guess I don’t know what’s going on in their lives. If anyone can relate please let me know. It would help me so much. I hope I’m not alone. regards, Jan PS. I’m still feeling extremely vulnerable so only helpful, supportive replies please.
Yes Jan I knew a Jan I played wiffleball with back in the " day". yes to answer your question and add the word manic a few times and yes again. Sleep is the best thing for both anxiety and depression and I had the best damn ( sleep) last night. Somehow knowing how my body works , its a sure bet it aint going to be a great sleep tonight. My body gives me one good day and five borderline days to make realize how lucky the one day I had was so is it sane to be manic and Happy today? YOU BET, now aren’t you glad you asked. Or as my friend who does well on the outside says to me< " you have nothing to worry about compared to what I see what goes on out there" . You are doing very well.
Response:
I’m dealing with both. I’d just really really really like to know that I’m not alone here in this newsgroup. I’ve checked out the depression ngs but never found them to be of use. Too much medication talk there. I know it’s important to talk about medication but I can’t deal with it if there’s too much talk about it. I’ve had depression for about 11 years now and it runs my whole life. It has really crippled my development as a whole person. I see that now. I think however that I’m getting out of it now. I see glimmers of hope but it is SOOO difficult. It’s difficult to see that i’ve missed out on so much; career development, hobbies, sports, friends, partying. It’s like there’s a huge gap in my life and how will I rebuild my life especially since I’m still struggling with this condition. It’s difficult to believe that one can become well. Not just *cope* with depression but regain wholeness and vitality. I’ve done a lot of different alternative treatment over the years. Some good, some bad and now it seems I’ve run out of options other than to not worry and have faith. Not easy. Yes, I’m in therapy but it seems I have to move country and start over. I don’t know what therapy options I’ll find there. I was at a group therapy meeting yesterday for anxiety. It was good to see how others are struggling but I still felt alone. I thought they were lucky. They were *only* dealing with anxiety and not depression. They had jobs, lives. Anxiety was just interfering with their normal existence. Heck, my WHOLE life is about anxiety and depression. Not one moment goes where I’m not affected in some way. Well, actually, I guess I don’t know what’s going on in their lives. If anyone can relate please let me know. It would help me so much. I hope I’m not alone. regards, Jan PS. I’m still feeling extremely vulnerable so only helpful, supportive replies please.
Response:
Jan what meds are you taking and how often do you see your doctor? The majority of us in here have depression and anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, you name it. Do you have a family? Spouse, children? How is your relationship with them? Bri
Good to hear that it’s not just anxiety in the newsgroup. I really needed to hear that. Sorry, I don’t really want to talk about meds. I find the topic really depressing. I really don’t like talking about it. I can’t explain just why yet. You might say I have a phobia for the topic. I see my doctor once a week. Right now we’re working on effecting some big changes in my life. Jan
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No it’s not just anxiety/panic….I’ve been diagnosed with major depression (clinical) and last week the doctor said I might have bipolar 1 or 2……this was a doctor I was seeing through the state for a disability claim. You can talk about whatever you want to here, as you can see the topics go from therapy to the weather to different phobias….whatever you’re comfortable with. If you ever have a question just ask there are many wonderful people here who would love to offer suggestions and advice. Bri
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jan what meds are you taking and how often do you see your doctor? The majority of us in here have depression and anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, you name it. Do you have a family? Spouse, children? How is your relationship with them? Bri Good to hear that it’s not just anxiety in the newsgroup. I really needed to hear that. Sorry, I don’t really want to talk about meds. I find the topic really depressing. I really don’t like talking about it. I can’t explain just why yet. You might say I have a phobia for the topic. I see my doctor once a week. Right now we’re working on effecting some big changes in my life. Jan
Response:
Jan what meds are you taking and how often do you see your doctor? The majority of us in here have depression and anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, you name it. Do you have a family? Spouse, children? How is your relationship with them? Bri
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m dealing with both. I’d just really really really like to know that I’m not alone here in this newsgroup. I’ve checked out the depression ngs but never found them to be of use. Too much medication talk there. I know it’s important to talk about medication but I can’t deal with it if there’s too much talk about it. I’ve had depression for about 11 years now and it runs my whole life. It has really crippled my development as a whole person. I see that now. I think however that I’m getting out of it now. I see glimmers of hope but it is SOOO difficult. It’s difficult to see that i’ve missed out on so much; career development, hobbies, sports, friends, partying. It’s like there’s a huge gap in my life and how will I rebuild my life especially since I’m still struggling with this condition. It’s difficult to believe that one can become well. Not just *cope* with depression but regain wholeness and vitality. I’ve done a lot of different alternative treatment over the years. Some good, some bad and now it seems I’ve run out of options other than to not worry and have faith. Not easy. Yes, I’m in therapy but it seems I have to move country and start over. I don’t know what therapy options I’ll find there. I was at a group therapy meeting yesterday for anxiety. It was good to see how others are struggling but I still felt alone. I thought they were lucky. They were *only* dealing with anxiety and not depression. They had jobs, lives. Anxiety was just interfering with their normal existence. Heck, my WHOLE life is about anxiety and depression. Not one moment goes where I’m not affected in some way. Well, actually, I guess I don’t know what’s going on in their lives. If anyone can relate please let me know. It would help me so much. I hope I’m not alone. regards, Jan PS. I’m still feeling extremely vulnerable so only helpful, supportive replies please.
Response:
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