Question:

Has anyone else had similar experiences. p.s I suspect these symptoms were a result of substance abuse (LSD, E, SPEED) I would be grateful for any input.

Well, Paul…I don’t have the mood swings you do….but I had one shrink tell me that my addiction to cocain for 3 years probably caused my PD. That was 11 years ago he said that and since I have learned (and believe) it is more hereditary.  None of the OTHER addicts I knew got this, but my mother and grandmother did.  I am not saying I didn’t mess with my brain chemistry royally during that time, but I think it was inevitable for me – maybe just a bit faster with my tinkering.  Just my opinion. Gwen

Response:

  From what I’ve read and what my pdoc has said, BP is hereditary in nature.  Although,  the abuse of methanphetamines can cause that hidden gene to come through.  So if your already predisposed, the drugs came set off the bi-polar. One-third of BP’s used speed heavily, implying that one third of bi-polars are so because of the drug use connection.  OR you could take it to mean that one third of bi-polars self medicated regularly. Personally there is some depression in my family and I did use a fair amount of speed in the past, so in my case I accept both explanations. JB On – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Newsgroups: alt.support.anxiety-panic, alt.support.depression.manic,     alt.support.depression.medication, soc.support.depression.manic Well, Paul…I don’t have the mood swings you do….but I had one shrink tell me that my addiction to cocain for 3 years probably caused my PD. That was 11 years ago he said that and since I have learned (and believe) it is more hereditary.  None of the OTHER addicts I knew got this, but my mother and grandmother did.  I am not saying I didn’t mess with my brain chemistry royally during that time, but I think it was inevitable for me – maybe just a bit faster with my tinkering.  Just my opinion. Gwen

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You will find many caring and helpful people on this group who know *exactly* how you feel…..and that, in itself, is some comfort… I hope this group will be of help to you, Paul……It has certainly been a Godsend to me…….Please keep reading and posting…..by helping others, we actually help ourselves more than we know…..:) Take care…. MikeH Hi everybody, I’m knew to all this NG stuff

Hi, Paul…..ditto for me.  I’m new here too, and already I feel better just  knowing all these wonderful people are here. I’ve learned more from this NG  than from any book, mag article, or even MD!!  I think you’ll like it  here…..so, pull up a chair, sit down and just relax…..we’ll take care of  the rest.  :-)   Welcome aboard! Giselle (Getting much better since she found ASAP!)

Response:

Hi everybody, I’m knew to all this NG stuff.   Let me say a few things about my self. A few years ago I started getting panick attacks and then I got really depressed and anxious.  For about three months I did’t talk to anyone and became a self confessed hermit,

I can relate. I used to get sick if I left the onfines of my house. Gradually these moods became less pronounced ( i.e the highs got lower and the lows got higher I think). I’m still quite anxious and a bit socially phobic and I yearn for those manic episodes which faded away about a year ago (they lasted for 18 months)<<

Are you on any prescription meds now? The reason I am asking is because my MD prescribed Zoloft for chronic depression, which gave me manic highs and terrible lows. He prescribed something called Depakote that is used as a mood stabilizer. The idea is to get the Zoloft to pick you up and the Depakote to keep you on a nice even plane. Seems to be working so far. You may want to look in to it. p.s I suspect these symptoms were a result of substance abuse (LSD, E, SPEED) <<

Very well could be. I had never experienced a panic attack until I weaned myself off a mild meth addiction. -Jennifer Bamber Repcik

Response:

does anyone else get this? I find that certain times of the day I’m really bad but then if something small but irrelevant happens I really cheer up. I seem to go back to being a normal person for 10 mins. Doesnt last because I usually swing back down then.

Response:

does anyone else get this? I find that certain times of the day I’m really bad but then if something small but irrelevant happens I really cheer up. I seem to go back to being a normal person for 10 mins. Doesnt last because I usually swing back down then.

all day, you’ll be glad to know, i go back to black-out "can’t remember where i live or if i’ve been here before" type moments.  i have to tell myself in my mind that i am home and that it’ll clear. so goes the cycle.

Response:

does anyone else get this? I find that certain times of the day I’m really bad but then if something small but irrelevant happens I really cheer up. I seem to go back to being a normal person for 10 mins. Doesnt last because I usually swing back down then.

I cheer up if I have something else to distract me. If I’m actively taking part in a meeting, or if I’m concentrating on a bit of work (or a book, or a film), then I’m happy for a short while. But that doesn’t last, and I start to think again, and then I return right back to the painful ground. The days when there are no distractions are therefore the worst. Last weekend was particularly bad because I had no-one to spend time with to help me forget about things for a while. This coming weekend I’m busy all day every day and will therefore get to the end of Sunday just wanting some "me time" to be on my own! – kinda like trying to both have my cake and eat it I guess Fork.

Response:

does anyone else get this? I find that certain times of the day I’m really bad but then if something small but irrelevant happens I really cheer up. I seem to go back to being a normal person for 10 mins. Doesnt last because I usually swing back down then.

yes i have them a lot

Response:

does anyone else get this? I find that certain times of the day I’m really bad but then if something small but irrelevant happens I really cheer up. I seem to go back to being a normal person for 10 mins. Doesnt last because I usually swing back down then. yes i have them a lot

Adding my "me too" post here….  ;( —

Question:

Any suggestions I am new here.

yaaa, find your way in to the fellowship, some Co-da meetings … AA. I think you would really like an ACA meeting that fited with you. ACA or ACOA is for people who are Adults but where a Child to parent objects of Alcoholics, Users, Abusers. Nicole Bush is an ACA person.  Her parents are big time drug users, her granddaddy is a big time alcoholic. So, you are not alone. You got a lot going on, and finding a program of sorts to clean up your life – put up some healthy boundaries and make some progress is what you have to do I suppose. Traditional Accupuncture, Biofeedback and Integrative Body Psychotherapy are some of the applied psychophysiology interventions that seem to work best on people with PTSD …. like you and Nicole and lots of other people. Your parents are druggie alcoholics as well as capital punishment christians I am just guessing … The disease is pretty big and malignant in society. The good news is that you are getting better. Keep up the good work. SumBuddie who cares )   —–= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =—– http://www.newsfeeds.com – The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! —–==  Over 80,000 Newsgroups – 16 Different Servers! =—–

Response:

You CAN quit, if you stop believing you can’t.  But I’d suggest you get help somewhere else and stop waiting for your parents approval.  No matter how long they have been off meth, if they’re still using pot, they are NOT clean.  They’ve just replaced the meth addiction with pot. You don’t mention whether your husband and children know you are on drugs, but chances are they know something is wrong even if they don’t.  Your husband is probably a better place to look for support than your parents, unless he’s also doing drugs.  I may get reamed for saying this, but if you can handle a somewhat religious approach, you could try Narcotics Anonymous. Also, try the local mental health center, chances are they offer help for getting off drugs.  If the first counselor doesn’t work, try a different one.  You may not get a good match the first try.  If you really want to get off drugs, you will find a way.  Good luck. Dragon

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I was a child when i remember finding out my parents were on drugs. My brother was 7 years older than me so he dealt with it better than i did. I didn’t know how to handle this as a small child so i rebelled and acted out. I remember even taking some of their dope and they found it in my room. They put me in a drug rehab place and made me see all of these phycologists and shrinks and never once did they admit that it was their dope or even that they were on dope at all.  This really confused me. My parents had their own business and would spend many tweaking nights there, leaving me home alone as a young teenager.  I was already emotionally troubled.  I had all of the signs, but they never tried to help me.  I am resentful of them for that.  After learning of my parents buying dope from my brother who was about 21 now, I felt as though I had to do drugs to be accepted and loved by my parents.  It’s been a rough life thus far. My parents have been clean for 6 years now off of the meth, but they still smoke pot.  My brother and I aren’t so fortunate. I am now 26 years old and a married mother of 2.  I have had an addiction to meth for the last 11 years.  My brother, he is 33 and he has the same addiction only for much much longer.  My parents are so bitter and angry with us for not quitting the meth. We can’t quit, it is so hard, and they are so unsupportive and in denial.  I feel as though they have brought this into our lives and they should be the ones who help us overcome this hell.  They blame us and shame us and rub our noses in it, and punish us, and take things away from us, all because we can’t quit.  Any suggestions I am new here.

Response:

I was a child when i remember finding out my parents were on drugs. My brother was 7 years older than me so he dealt with it better than i did. I didn’t know how to handle this as a small child so i rebelled and acted out. I remember even taking some of their dope and they found it in my room. They put me in a drug rehab place and made me see all of these phycologists and shrinks and never once did they admit that it was their dope or even that they were on dope at all.  This really confused me. My parents had their own business and would spend many tweaking nights there, leaving me home alone as a young teenager.  I was already emotionally troubled.  I had all of the signs, but they never tried to help me.  I am resentful of them for that.  After learning of my parents buying dope from my brother who was about 21 now, I felt as though I had to do drugs to be accepted and loved by my parents.  It’s been a rough life thus far. My parents have been clean for 6 years now off of the meth, but they still smoke pot.  My brother and I aren’t so fortunate. I am now 26 years old and a married mother of 2.  I have had an addiction to meth for the last 11 years.  My brother, he is 33 and he has the same addiction only for much much longer.  My parents are so bitter and angry with us for not quitting the meth. We can’t quit, it is so hard, and they are so unsupportive and in denial.  I feel as though they have brought this into our lives and they should be the ones who help us overcome this hell.  They blame us and shame us and rub our noses in it, and punish us, and take things away from us, all because we can’t quit.  Any suggestions I am new here.

Response:

Question:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

You break the habit by withdrawing !, yes you can get back to leading "a normal life" although you will probably have a taste for it for the rest of your life if you develop a habit. A couple of months is unlikely to be that life changing anyway and methadone for a couple of months habit would be the stupidest thing you could do (assuming anyone would give it to you, lots of places want to see a couple of failed detoxes before they will admit you to the program). Have you got a book "101 pointless questions" or something ? AG

Response:

"Alan Gerbilsberg methadone for a couple of months habit would be the stupidest thing you could <

Believe it or not two guys at the local methadone clinic are on 120 mg maintenance for there Darvocet habit. Now that is stupid!

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

the first step is to quit.. but I think that a few months on the spike is easy to recover from.But  life my never return to normal especially if you have acquired the taste……

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory? the first step is to quit.. but I think that a few months on the spike is easy to recover from.But  life my never return to normal especially if you have acquired the taste……

I imagine you must taper of the drug like all other addictive substances.  I have read of it of course.  Sir Wiliam Osler (McGill physician) called it "God’s own medicine" – I guess he must have known.  I have heard that it is as close to heaven as you can get on earth, and that is why I have never tried it – well, it wouldn’t fit my lifestyle either of course. Squiggles

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory? the first step is to quit.. but I think that a few months on the spike is easy to recover from.But  life my never return to normal especially if you have acquired the taste…… I imagine you must taper of the drug like all other addictive substances.  I have read of it of course.  Sir Wiliam Osler (McGill physician) called it "God’s own medicine" – I guess he must have known.  I have heard that it is as close to heaven as you can get on earth, and that is why I have never tried it – well, it wouldn’t fit my lifestyle either of course. Squiggles

Sir william is a much respected Canuck Physician but  definitely  a little dated .

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory? the first step is to quit.. but I think that a few months on the spike is easy to recover from.But  life my never return to normal especially if you have acquired the taste…… I imagine you must taper of the drug like all other addictive substances.  I have read of it of course.  Sir Wiliam Osler (McGill physician) called it "God’s own medicine" – I guess he must have known.  I have heard that it is as close to heaven as you can get on earth, and that is why I have never tried it – well, it wouldn’t fit my lifestyle either of course. Squiggles Sir william is a much respected Canuck Physician but  definitely  a little dated .

So am I Squiggles

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

I think in yogic terms this could possibly be done by ’smriti-nirodha’, i.e. by "destroying" the memories of your enjoyment with heroin… — CHITTASYA SHUDDHAYE KARMA NA TU VASTU-UPALABDHAYE –Somekara, Viveka-chooda-monney

Response:

Wow, that is stupid, LOL. Az — "Get the facts first. You can distort them later." –Mark Twain

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Alan Gerbilsberg methadone for a couple of months habit would be the stupidest thing you could < Believe it or not two guys at the local methadone clinic are on 120 mg maintenance for there Darvocet habit. Now that is stupid!

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

Several months use has not ingrained the whole ‘ritual’ in to your psyche ( needle fixation etc).  I would avoid methadone at this time and try to ‘tough’ it out first using valium, benzos etc to smooth the ride back to normality. After going straight many times and still going back to it knowing the desperate cycle that it always entails I went on the methadone to give myself a dew years to get it out of my mind which is where the trouble is most evident. Methadone is  a double edge sword but it will turn around a degenerate lifestyle very quickly but like most things you pay for it somewhere sown the line. You will know when it is time to give up the ‘M’ and if you do find yourself in a ‘fatal attraction’ with the opiate again then you know that it was better to have tried than not and you gained a bit more of this precious gift of life,which admittedly feels more like a curse than a gift at times. We are a complex creature, but would you give up self awareness to avoid the pain of it and become an animal? "How can we know  mountainous highs without valley’s of despair" -forgot author

Response:

"Alan Gerbilsberg methadone for a couple of months habit would be the stupidest thing you could < Believe it or not two guys at the local methadone clinic are on 120 mg maintenance for there Darvocet habit. Now that is stupid!

Talk about overkill.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory? Several months use has not ingrained the whole ‘ritual’ in to your psyche ( needle fixation etc).  I would avoid methadone at this time and try to ‘tough’ it out first using valium, benzos etc to smooth the ride back to normality. After going straight many times and still going back to it knowing the desperate cycle that it always entails I went on the methadone to give myself a dew years to get it out of my mind which is where the trouble is most evident. Methadone is  a double edge sword but it will turn around a degenerate lifestyle very quickly but like most things you pay for it somewhere sown the line. You will know when it is time to give up the ‘M’ and if you do find yourself in a ‘fatal attraction’ with the opiate again then you know that it was better to have tried than not and you gained a bit more of this precious gift of life,which admittedly feels more like a curse than a gift at times. We are a complex creature, but would you give up self awareness to avoid the pain of it and become an animal? "How can we know  mountainous highs without valley’s of despair" -forgot author

Is heroin more difficult to withdraw from than benzodiazepines? I found the benzos, even at minimum therapeutic doses surprisingly dangerous – I had a seizure trying with clonazepam, and about two years of diarrhea, paranoia, anxiety, blood pressure problems, many other CNS effects, including tinnitus (mercifully short lasted for me, though not some others).  Xanax was not so bad (we are speaking of a max. dose of 1.0mg lol), but Clonazepam (klonopin) at 1.0 and down, was able to give me a stroke or a seizure – not sure which.   Just curious if it is true what I have heard — that benzos are worse than heroin in that respect. Squiggles

Response:

Is heroin more difficult to withdraw from than benzodiazepines? LOL Eric

I was reading up on the net and it would appear that withdrawal symptoms are very similar to benzo withdrawal, but the Heroin withdrawal only lasts up to 3 months, whereas the benzodiazepine withdrawals can last for years and leave you with disability. Squiggles

Response:

"Alan Gerbilsberg methadone for a couple of months habit would be the stupidest thing you could < Believe it or not two guys at the local methadone clinic are on 120 mg maintenance for there Darvocet habit. Now that is stupid!

Yeah there are people where I live who are snorting or smoking one or two bags of the most pathetic cut shit you have ever seen and they are being banged straight on to 50mg a day of methadone, most of them soon push it up to about 80-90 mg. It’s my opinion that it is being used as a method of social control on some of the "sink" estates and impoverished areas in the UK. AG

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

What I have heard/read about heroin addiction is: The drug takes over functions of the brain that control pleasure responses; minor aches and pains etc.  When you stop taking heroin your brain does not compensate for the lack of heroin. This is why addicts who kick get sick.  After the sickness is gone many addicts say that they do not experience life the way it used to be i.e. feeling pleasurable responses.  The brain has not yet compensated for the elimination of the heroin habit.  I’ve heard that it takes about 9 months for the brain and everything to get working again.  So I’d say you are going to have a craving for about 9 months after you’ve withdrawn.  This is assuming you go cold turkey and don’t use methadone.  I hope for your sake it does not take forever.  Don’t you find that subsequent highs are not as good as your first high? Personally I think the craving will always be there but it will be very manageble.  I quit smoking a few years back.  I like to think that I have lost my craving for cigarettes.  It’s true I do not crave them very often.  However if I am in a high stress environment or something important is coming up when I go to sleep I start to have dreams that I’ve started smoking again.  Then I wake up and get pissed off because I think that I’ve started to smoke again.  After a few seconds though I realize that it was a dream and I’m ok. Smoking(Tobacco) is considered by some to be a worse addiction than heroin.  So after you’ve been off for a year or so just don’t sweat it and don’t ever do it again.  I hope your cravings are minimal after a year.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory? How about this? Enter a heroin treatment program! . This NG is centered around mostly the medical treatment of mood disorders…especially refractory mood disorders. Heroin really isnt the focus of this NG. Id suggest finding a drug rehab oriented support group or possibly go over to Dr. Bobs…there are  a ton of ex druggies and recovering heroin addicts on Dr. Bob’s psychobabble. Eric

A more effective treatment would be rapid detox.  In many cities where a significant heroin using population resides so do rapid detox centers. In rapid detox the addict is given a general anesthetic and then various agents are used to clean the system of heroin in a few hours.  Because the addict is under anesthesia the pain of withdrawal is nt consciously experienced.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? What I have heard/read about heroin addiction is: The drug takes over functions of the brain that control pleasure responses; minor aches and pains etc. Endomorphins, I believe, is the word. Endomorphins are being excreted during sex, and I have heard that some Amsterdam doctor’s medical prescription to an abstainer is regular visits of the friends of the night. — Genuine minority with no discipline or authority: Mr. Hip NoTherapy and his American Excess card

Ah, that would explain it. I could never understand how my parents’ generation managed to have kids.  They seem so pro-pain and sufferring. Squiggles

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

Methadone is the easiest route. Try 20-50 milligrams a day and see if that will stabalize the withdrawal. It is tempting to do enough methadone to get a ‘buzz’……but it aint the idea. Keep decreasing the methadone by 5 mils every few days, if you do not feel ‘normal’ don’t reduce for awhile longer, but you want to be tapered down to nothing in 4 to 6 weeks. You will not have a methadone addiction with that amount and over that length of time. If you are going to try it ’straight’ get yourself some clonidine. Clonidine lowers your blood pressure and lessens anxiety. If you are as concerned about your ‘psychological addiction’ as you are about your ‘mechanical addiction’ you might want to learn about ibogaine. Use your search engine. Ibogaine works for most people and it is reasonably                                                             Good

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

Don’t even think about methadone, Its impossible to get off.

Response:

In australia, they just take your word for it, bang straight on 60 MG a day, nearly overdosed me. They are doing the Bup now (temgesic) it looks like my 16 years trapped on methadone is nearly over

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Alan Gerbilsberg methadone for a couple of months habit would be the stupidest thing you could < Believe it or not two guys at the local methadone clinic are on 120 mg maintenance for there Darvocet habit. Now that is stupid! Talk about overkill.

Response:

Heroin is fools gold; as the Stone Roses sing. Try naltrexone implants. They worked well for me. I had tried everything else and this was my last resort. I have been clean now for 1 year and enjoying life again. Don’t stay on the downward spiral. Good luck!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

Response:

How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life?

Methadone treatment. Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory?

No way!  I took meth up to 10-15 milligrams a day for 10 days and I was cured with no meth jones.   Meth is a godsend for heroin addiction! That is if you don’t do over 10 to 15 mils over 2-3 weeks. 10 to 20 mils without break for a month or so, is more like what it would take to get a meth jones. Elliott —   http://www.radix.net/~universe      ~*~ Enjoy! ~*~       Hail OO Modelling! * Hail the Wireless Web! @Elliott 2001 my comments ~ alt.*/comp.*/bitnet may quote

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – How does one break a heroin addiction after using for several months or more, and get back to enjoying normal everyday life? Is it even possible, or is methadone treatment for the rest of your life absolutely mandatory? Methadone is the easiest route. Try 20-50 milligrams a day and see if that will stabalize the withdrawal. It is tempting to do enough methadone to get a ‘buzz’……but it aint the idea. Keep decreasing the methadone by 5 mils every few days, if you do not feel ‘normal’ don’t reduce for awhile longer, but you want to be tapered down to nothing in 4 to 6 weeks. You will not have a methadone addiction with that amount and over that length of time. If you are going to try it ’straight’ get yourself some clonidine. Clonidine lowers your blood pressure and lessens anxiety.

All the above is great, and right on target !  You are not doomed to lifelong  meth addiction.  Most of the people hooked by it are not trying to taper off and avoid getting a buzz from it.  They wanted to keep the buzz for over a month straight, no let up, and they got hooked. If you are as concerned about your ‘psychological addiction’ as you are about your ‘mechanical addiction’ you might want to learn about ibogaine. Use your search engine. Ibogaine works for most people and it is reasonably                                                            Good

Ell

Response:

Heroin is fools gold; as the Stone Roses sing. Try naltrexone implants. They worked well for me. I had tried everything else and this was my last resort. I have been clean now for 1 year and enjoying life again. Don’t stay on the downward spiral. Good luck!

Never done heroin – always curious about it; is it really as good as "Train Spotting" portrayed it; read "The Opium Eater" – sounds like the kind of heaven you don’t want to leave else you descend into hell; is it as bad as benzodiazepines to get off? I could only get down to a certain amount on the clonzepam and then I had something like a seizure; BTW, "Fool’s Gold" is also a song by Graham Parker – did not realize it was a ref. to heroin. Squiggles

Response:

Oh you are so lucky to have a pure system and a virginal arm You have something wonderful to look forward to.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Heroin is fools gold; as the Stone Roses sing. Try naltrexone implants. They worked well for me. I had tried everything else and this was my last resort. I have been clean now for 1 year and enjoying life again. Don’t stay on the downward spiral. Good luck! Never done heroin – always curious about it; is it really as good as "Train Spotting" portrayed it; read "The Opium Eater" – sounds like the kind of heaven you don’t want to leave else you descend into hell; is it as bad as benzodiazepines to get off? I could only get down to a certain amount on the clonzepam and then I had something like a seizure; BTW, "Fool’s Gold" is also a song by Graham Parker – did not realize it was a ref. to heroin. Squiggles

Response:

Question:

From: LV Josh lv_j…@my-deja.com sorry for pouring it out but i am actually wired on meth now (anyone familiar know how easy it is to not shut up). please offer me any adive you can or maybe point me in the direction of where i could get better help/advice because i REALLY REALLY do not want to ruin my marriage or my son and wifes life.  Thank you in advance.  oh yeah, gettin back to the subject of this post, does it sound like like i may have manic depression?  (is md genetically passed down?).  if it doesn’t what other disorder does it sound like? -joshua

Josh You really need to be diagnosed by a professional.  If you really don’t want to loose the wife and son, then loose the meth! Pam

Response:

LV Josh <lv_j…@my-deja.com

wrote:

: sorry this gets off subject a little but i originall posted to a manic : dep. group.  so i am copy/pasting that into here since some of my : problems are similar.  any input or adice is greatly appreciated. I had a chance to be manic-depressive and it was drug-induced. When I first found my high blood pressure, I was given some nifedipine, and upon taking a hit, I was launched on a 36 hour "trip" where I was bipolar and a hyperactive redskin. No thanks. The adrenaline rush for 36 hours was real nasty. I don’t like being bipolar. At least I had the opportunity to shut it off! That drug would in my case make for quite a "trucker pill". I was really wired from 35mg of the shit. Most people however get "just" a cup of coffee effect instead of a day and a half of Crystal Meth like I did on just one 35mg hit. Any wonder how I traced out my SP being from a hosed nervous system? — CAUTION: Email Spam Killer in use. Leave this line in your reply! 152680  First Law of Economics: You can’t sell product to people without money. 4738826 bytes of spam mail deleted.           http://www.wwa.com/~nospam/

Response:

Struck-in-the-head <zalmo…@earthlink.net

wrote:

: I don’t like being bipolar, either. I wish I had a choice. Trust me, you don’t want to be bipolar. It sucks, especially being a high-speed bipolar. My nifedipine expierence was such that I began my "career" of practising DIY medicine by seeking out specialists on purpose. — CAUTION: Email Spam Killer in use. Leave this line in your reply! 152680  First Law of Economics: You can’t sell product to people without money. 4738826 bytes of spam mail deleted.           http://www.wwa.com/~nospam/

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -LV Josh wrote in message <7usmgt$r7…@nnrp1.deja.com

… sorry this gets off subject a little but i originall posted to a manic dep. group.  so i am copy/pasting that into here since some of my problems are similar.  any input or adice is greatly appreciated. hello this is somewhat of an long post but pleasae bare with me because my marriage depends on it. forgive me if i break any group taboos but i am new to the group; if there is a FAQ for this group someone please point to it. ok, so i am in my mid 20’s.  i’m a little worried i may have md. THE BACKGROUND: severe md runs strong on my mothers side of the family for females only though.

Yep, mine too – and they think they’re the normal ones and everyone else is stuffed… i have not seen my mother since i was 10 years old. I haven’t seen mine since I left home at 17…and never went back…I’m 24 now and married too… she was

in and out of the facilities (sorry for the vagueness) that treates this stuff whenever she lost it and went bezerk.  i know she took lithum for a while but didnt really help.

My mother, sister etc. have never been treated…but they really do show the symptoms and worse…

MY HISTORY: there was some major pot and crank (meth) abuse in my teen years (14- 19) and a little lsd as well.

Pot is OK.  I smoke a little daily to help me relax after work (I work long hours at a computer too) and its very mild even compared to pharm. meds. but you should steer clear of meth – that stuff is way too strong and makes people dillusional – no I haven’t used myself, but I have been around people on it – they get really paranoid and can’t sit still or concentrate on anything – leave it alone. LSD is non-toxic physically – I use it from time to time, but the mental effects can be strong – be careful and don’t use it unless you are happy and well rested… i had a real short temp and held my

emotions in ’till they exploded and i had some kinda breakdown were i would just stare off into my own little work for an hour or two totally tuning every everything out *used to really freak my family out*.

Yep – me exactly… i

think some of it i did for attention but nonetheless i went to counseling a few time.

Yeah, and it went nowhere right?  Counselling is inefffective for chemical imbalances – talk about my mother all you want, it won’t fix my problem…I’m not psychotic – just emotionally out of control…inside I know I shouldn’t be like that, even when I burst into tears or get hysterical, its not me, its my emotional dilema… everytime they gave me zoloft or something

similar wich did nothing for me (even when i wasnt taking street drugs).

I’ve been on Zoloft and it did work for me, but the sex side effects and fatigue is now too much – affects my work – doc’s prescribed Aurorix (MAOI)…waiting to see what others say about it before I start on it… because my mother always got us kicked out of apartments

(fighting with the landlords/negighbors) we moved around a lot, averaging about 3 different shcools per year.

Gees man, that sux… obviously i gave up on

trying to make friends since i would be gone soon.  this went on for a while, even after my mother was outta the pictures, this time due to my dads job.  i dropped most drugs since i was about 20.  i still slip and have a line sometimes, like once every month or two (i just cant resist when i see one).  also, there was a period when i first moved out on my own were i was hearing voices, of course most the speech was not comprehendible other then my name being said.  voices were usually male and very seldom female.

Haven’t had that…

THE PRESENT: i have a good, professional jobs working as a computer programmer.  i have never been happier with a job and i am sure this is a stable job. to make things better, my wife works with me down the all so i get too see here whenever i want.  my wife (wife is 20 years old) and i have been together for over 5 years now and married for almost 2 years.

I met my husband at 16 (he was 18) and we’ve been together for 8 years and married for 3… we

have a 20 month old little boy who is absolutely precious…

congratulations…I don’t have a family yet…we’re waiting a few more years if we can (finance) i love my

wife and son more than any can imagine.  We are really having a hard time tyring to get along (my wife and i) both sexually and personality wise.  the main reason for the "personality" conflict is she get tired of picking up after me because i have always been really lazy (yes i am trying to help around the house) and avoided any form of cleaning or housework.

My husband is ADD (attention deficit disorder) and I’m OCD, MD and Panic…so we go thru our ups and downs about housework…I went off my meds on the weekend and labelled everything in my house by the end – now that’s obsessive…he’s gotten really good over the years, probably cos of my bitching mood swings before treatment… also, i tend to be an asshole to her quite often and catch

myself making degrading remarks to her all the time…

Yep…exactly…and you don’t mean it – like the words run out before you catch them… i really think

she is the most wonderful person i’ve ever been with so i can’t figure out why i insult her??? any idea??? i know it’s not for the common reason "to make myself feel better" be my self esteem is not low at all.  i really need advice on this matter because it is killing our marriage.  i have always had a short temper and am quick to explode, in fact i am a major road rager (never shot at anyone though;) ).  i also get a lot of headaches or am proned to get one if somebody won’t shut up or i am in a busy (doens’t have to be loud) public place.  a lot of times i also feel really antisocial and avoid going out at all cost like to the mall or dinner; i would much rather cozy up to the computer and sharpen my computer skills.  i am also overly concerned about what people around us think so when ever my wife does something clutzy i get real uncomfortable and try to flee the scene asap.  i am also still really about couping my emotions up until i explode.

Okay…you sound exactly like me…  however, when i

slip on my meth addiction and come home still wired i am able to share my emotions and find myself real nice to here and always apologize for being the dickhead i’ve been lately… i am able to maintain this pleasant personality for about 2 days before reverting back to "the irrible jerk" i usually am.

Yep…sometimes I’m lucky if its hours before I freak out again…  regarding sexuallity, i have lost pretty

much all my sexuall desires for women (no i’m not gay); what i mean is that my lack of libido is not just for my wife but even beautiful strangers dont even get wheels turning.  i’ve been this way for about 2 years now…  however, this is reversed when i’m on meth as well.

I know exactly what you mean – its like your asexual or non sexual…

also, i seem to have an affinity for anal sex which is a problem for my since it seems to hurt her a lot(yes i am very gentle).  i’ve tried going without out it buy i am absolutely addicted to it.  i used to find my self being rough when performing anal sex whenever i was frustrated with her or life in general… as if i were taking out on here.  i am completely past this now luckily becuase i was really starting to have a guilty conscience (spelling?).

I only really get off on anal sex (I’m female) …I’d never thought of that as being a ’symptom’ though, but now that you’ve mentioned it…its like normal sex is for everyone else I guess – I need it to be that intense…lots of lube though…  any how, this is the

gist of my problems.  sorry for pouring it out but i am actually wired on meth now (anyone familiar know how easy it is to not shut up). please offer me any adive you can or maybe point me in the direction of where i could get better help/advice because i REALLY REALLY do not want to ruin my marriage or my son and wifes life.

I know this is unconventional, but MDMA (XTC) really strengthened our relationship…we’d never felt so able to speak openly and really delve into our feelings, problems and emotions…it brings love, euphoria and a closeness that stays with you even afterward…it might be scary for your wife, but if you’re already using meth, she may be open to the suggestion – counselling could be an option, but I found they just want to talk about your family and childhood and very little to find out about chemical imbalances…a good shrink is advisable but be careful…more often than not, they will over prescribe or charge a fortune just to say "how are you"…my advice is to find a GP you trust and are comfortable with, and ask them to refer you to a good shrink… Thank you in

advance.  oh yeah, gettin back to the subject of this post, does it sound like like i may have manic depression?  (is md genetically passed down?).  if it doesn’t what other disorder does it sound like?

Okay – yes it does sound like Manic Dep.  but also you may have SP or panic disorder…doesn’t sound like you have OCD (which I do) so that may help you when you get professional help…but DO get it…go see your GP and start from there… Good Luck – we care Blue She Wolf = : ) PS – once you get help and treatment, start preparing to help your child…he will probably have the same problems…love love love and support and understanding – don’t let him go thru what you did growing up… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

-joshua Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.

Response:

sorry this gets off subject a little but i originall posted to a manic dep. group.  so i am copy/pasting that into here since some of my problems are similar.  any input or adice is greatly appreciated. hello this is somewhat of an long post but pleasae bare with me because my marriage depends on it. forgive me if i break any group taboos but i am new to the group; if there is a FAQ for this group someone please point to it. ok, so i am in my mid 20’s.  i’m a little worried i may have md. THE BACKGROUND: severe md runs strong on my mothers side of the family for females only though.  i have not seen my mother since i was 10 years old.  she was in and out of the facilities (sorry for the vagueness) that treates this stuff whenever she lost it and went bezerk.  i know she took lithum for a while but didnt really help. MY HISTORY: there was some major pot and crank (meth) abuse in my teen years (14- 19) and a little lsd as well.  i had a real short temp and held my emotions in ’till they exploded and i had some kinda breakdown were i would just stare off into my own little work for an hour or two totally tuning every everything out *used to really freak my family out*.  i think some of it i did for attention but nonetheless i went to counseling a few time.  everytime they gave me zoloft or something similar wich did nothing for me (even when i wasnt taking street drugs).  because my mother always got us kicked out of apartments (fighting with the landlords/negighbors) we moved around a lot, averaging about 3 different shcools per year.  obviously i gave up on trying to make friends since i would be gone soon.  this went on for a while, even after my mother was outta the pictures, this time due to my dads job.  i dropped most drugs since i was about 20.  i still slip and have a line sometimes, like once every month or two (i just cant resist when i see one).  also, there was a period when i first moved out on my own were i was hearing voices, of course most the speech was not comprehendible other then my name being said.  voices were usually male and very seldom female. THE PRESENT: i have a good, professional jobs working as a computer programmer.  i have never been happier with a job and i am sure this is a stable job. to make things better, my wife works with me down the all so i get too see here whenever i want.  my wife (wife is 20 years old) and i have been together for over 5 years now and married for almost 2 years.  we have a 20 month old little boy who is absolutely precious… i love my wife and son more than any can imagine.  We are really having a hard time tyring to get along (my wife and i) both sexually and personality wise.  the main reason for the "personality" conflict is she get tired of picking up after me because i have always been really lazy (yes i am trying to help around the house) and avoided any form of cleaning or housework.  also, i tend to be an asshole to her quite often and catch myself making degrading remarks to her all the time… i really think she is the most wonderful person i’ve ever been with so i can’t figure out why i insult her??? any idea??? i know it’s not for the common reason "to make myself feel better" be my self esteem is not low at all.  i really need advice on this matter because it is killing our marriage.  i have always had a short temper and am quick to explode, in fact i am a major road rager (never shot at anyone though;) ).  i also get a lot of headaches or am proned to get one if somebody won’t shut up or i am in a busy (doens’t have to be loud) public place.  a lot of times i also feel really antisocial and avoid going out at all cost like to the mall or dinner; i would much rather cozy up to the computer and sharpen my computer skills.  i am also overly concerned about what people around us think so when ever my wife does something clutzy i get real uncomfortable and try to flee the scene asap.  i am also still really about couping my emotions up until i explode.  however, when i slip on my meth addiction and come home still wired i am able to share my emotions and find myself real nice to here and always apologize for being the dickhead i’ve been lately… i am able to maintain this pleasant personality for about 2 days before reverting back to "the irrible jerk" i usually am.  regarding sexuallity, i have lost pretty much all my sexuall desires for women (no i’m not gay); what i mean is that my lack of libido is not just for my wife but even beautiful strangers dont even get wheels turning.  i’ve been this way for about 2 years now…  however, this is reversed when i’m on meth as well. also, i seem to have an affinity for anal sex which is a problem for my since it seems to hurt her a lot(yes i am very gentle).  i’ve tried going without out it buy i am absolutely addicted to it.  i used to find my self being rough when performing anal sex whenever i was frustrated with her or life in general… as if i were taking out on here.  i am completely past this now luckily becuase i was really starting to have a guilty conscience (spelling?).  any how, this is the gist of my problems.  sorry for pouring it out but i am actually wired on meth now (anyone familiar know how easy it is to not shut up). please offer me any adive you can or maybe point me in the direction of where i could get better help/advice because i REALLY REALLY do not want to ruin my marriage or my son and wifes life.  Thank you in advance.  oh yeah, gettin back to the subject of this post, does it sound like like i may have manic depression?  (is md genetically passed down?).  if it doesn’t what other disorder does it sound like? -joshua Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.

Response: